Providing constructive feedback can be stressful, as most leaders don’t want to deconstruct the spirit of their employees.
A job shift from the on-site to the remote location removes the nuance that can help soften the blow of “bad” news.
Negativity shapes the way people listen to feedback. As Roy Baumeister and John Tierney explain in The Power of Bad, the “universal tendency of negative events and emotions affects us more strongly than positive ones”. In other words, we tend to ruminate on criticism and ignore praise.
The presence of negativity can be a challenge in any conversation where feedback is given, however, it becomes particularly problematic these days due to the stress that many people are facing due to the current pandemic context. Right now, in what has been a difficult time for so many people, employees may be even more likely to focus on the negatives. For example, if you say, “I need you to redo this report,” they might interpret it as, “Your work sucks.”
Some managers report that when they give feedback in person, they are able to adjust the context to communicate the severity of the news. They choose a room with comfortable, colorful chairs and a low coffee table if they want the atmosphere to feel relaxed and casual, or a meeting room with chairs around a large formal table if they want to communicate a more serious matter.
Stress is increasing levels of negativity. Practicing some strategies for conveying constructive feedback can help prevent negativity and the digital workplace from distorting how your employees receive their feedback.
Make questions
Start your constructive feedback conversation by asking the other person for their perspective on a particular topic. You can ask: “What did you think of this report?”. You should understand their experience and what they think about their work – perhaps they have never worked so hard on a three-page document.
What if they say they thought everything went well and don’t express any concerns? You may be dealing with an “unnoticed performance”. If you observed the problem directly, you can say, “I ask because I noticed X” and, if you did not observe the problem, ask: “I ask this because I heard X”. In either case, you should expect the employee to be willing to think of different ways to handle the situation. Make it clear that they are being judged on results, not effort.
Give an appreciation before making criticisms
Individuals are more receptive to constructive criticism if they are first explained what specifically they did well. If there’s not much you can praise about their work, praise their willingness to continue to improve and progress.
Show your good intentions
Explicitly showing your good intentions goes a long way in improving the way the other person hears negative news.
Clarify and contrast
Contrasting statements can bring clarity. After you voice your concern or suggestion, follow it up with “What I mean is X. What I don’t mean is Y.”
Ask the person to state their main conclusions
Save your time so that at the end of the conversation you can ask: “What are your top three conclusions?”. When you give feedback remotely, it’s much easier for the other person to end the call abruptly than you would in person. It’s better to correct any misunderstandings in the moment than to let them ruminate overnight or over the weekend.
While the ongoing stress caused by the pandemic can make it harder for your employees to receive constructive feedback than usual, conveying it with clarity and sensitivity will help them focus on the reality of your message, even in a context remote.
Original article: Giving Critical Feedback Is Even Harder Remotely
